Zhaojun's 6 Tips On College Thriving — A Memoir of Transitioning To The Life In The United States
Starting from the spring of 2019, every entering freshman at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill (UNC) needs to complete a new general education curriculum called IDEAs in Action that aims to prepare students to be lifelong learners (Spurr, 2019). One of the very first classes that every new student has to take is called "College Thriving," a course that "will introduce students to the research, resources, and practical skills needed to thrive in college and beyond." It's a great class, but there are still some important aspects of life the class fails to cover, especially for a big city person who comes from the other side of the planet. Therefore, I have decided to come up with my own tips that better help students transition to college in the future.
6. Face it! You're not going to get straight A's.
Prior to coming to UNC, I completed selecting classes at home in Shanghai on an August evening. I was so confident about my learning ability. The statement that Asian students perform significantly better in academics was rooted in my brain for some reasons. According to the College Board, in 2022, Asian students achieved the highest average SAT score of 1229 while the average total SAT score for everyone was 1050. A similar trend goes for almost every other exam I could think of: a report from the National Center for Education Statistics in 2008 revealed that the average AP score across all exams was 2.83 and Asian students attained the highest mean score of 3.08 that year; the American College Testing's report in 2022 shows the national average ACT composite score was 19.8, the lowest since 1990, yet the Asian students, again, miraculously achieved the highest average ACT composite score of 24.7.
I took ACT 4 times; the last time I got a 34, the 99th percentile of that exam, and I chose 17 credit hours of classes for my first semester. The reality gave me a slap. The amount of reading at this university was insane. Almost every 3-credit-hour, non-STEM class had the amount of reading that is equivalent to the amount of reading in all classes combined in high school. I had a drama class (do NOT take DRAM 115!) that covers 10 plays, each 50 pages long, in a semester, and the exam asked for specific details from each play, such as where Gwendolen and Cecily met, that I could only know by reading every single one of them. UNC had a reputation for its biology; 17.5 percent of all its first-year students chose biology as their intended major in 2022 according to Carolina Alumni. Other than having three times the amount of homework than an AP class, the biology here focused on the art of expression — they emphasized abilities such as recognizing the difference between the activation of a protein and the expression of a protein.
Perfectionism is rampant in the academics. But a study has shown perfectionism promotes academic motivation, and, therefore, aids students to adjust themselves mentally when encountering challenges (Miquelon et al., 2005). Generally speaking, the time I spend on studying a subject correlates with the score I get on the exam but there are exceptions to that. Once I studied for a biology exam for 3 days. I would go over every PowerPoint slide and try to put everything on the cheat sheet. The night before that exam, I stayed at Davis Library and discussed 3 hours with the study group made up entirely of Chinese students — they seemed to perform significantly better than the class average. But when I checked the grade, I couldn't believe what I saw. I got a 77. The highest score was 100.
A college student always needs to learn to cope with this frustration. Although I was usually number one in my small AP biology class, there are people here who can score way higher than me in a 200-person biology class. Learning I'm not the smartest person on this planet is a universal experience, and realizing that it is okay to not get a 4.0 is another lesson I will learn over time.
5. You'll learn a bunch of new things from many different people.
"UNC students call themselves Tar Heels. This side of the room say Tar, and this side of the room say Heels." — A staff during the international student orientation in the Global FedEx Center.
"Fraternity & Sorority at UNC aims to provide students a community that does social networking and philanthropy." — A staff I met during the information fair in orientation.
"You are a good egg means you are a good person. My mom once called someone you are a good potato." — A psychology professor during office hours.
"Kozak consensus sequence is a part of the gene that ribosomes bind to start the translation of the protein." — A biology professor in an 8 a.m. class.
"This is Cauliflower. You have to say it." — A Carolina Dining Service staff who insisted I say the name of the food when I pointed to it and said I wanted this.
"Low-key is like low-profile. It's just a filler word." — Someone from Brazil I met at the first Heel Life event I attended.
"Go to Hell Duke." — The person behind me in the line to the UNC-Duke football game smiled when I asked what GTHD meant.
"You are not racially motivated to be Ken." — A drunk girl I met in the frat house on the night of Halloween.
"So, redneck was invented to describe people who have red necks in the country because of sunburn. It also means people who have conservative views. That's the music rednecks listen to." — Someone who was born in UNC hospital.
4. Nobody likes Duke.
"Aw, what?" When your College Thriving teacher tried to show you on Google the campus life of UNC, "Campus Life - Duke Undergraduate Admissions" popped up on the screen. "Nobody wants to know their campus life," she responded with an awkward smile.
There is no question that the rivalry between these two universities is the greatest in this country. While there has never been much goodwill between the two universities since the series began in 1920, some argue that 1961 saw the explosion of the Carolina-Duke rivalry as it exists now (Smith, 2021). Art Heyman, who retired his No. 25 jersey in Cameron, had committed to play for the Tar Heels before being recruited by Duke head coach Vic Bubas. The biggest fight in college basketball has everything to do with Heyman's betrayal of players at North Carolina. Criticisms and a sucker punch aimed at him are therefore well-deserved.
I went to Duke once in a friend's car on a sunny afternoon. "Duke is expensive. We are the school that actually cares about everyone," he said. I wore a pair of UNC Pegasus sneakers to Duke that day — it did attract some look on campus. And we went to the Duke Chapel and met this guy who wore a Duke T-shirt. "Did you guys watch the football game last night? It was crazy, isn't it?" He came to us; I hid my feet behind my friend so he wouldn't see my sneakers. "No, we didn't." Your friend responded.
"It's okay. You have four years, right? Are you all freshman?"
"Em......actually, we are from the other school around here." We laughed, looking at him like innocent kids and expecting an awkward silence.
"Oh, you know what? My kids went to your school." In our awe, he showed us his watch that had the classical UNC logo on it.
"Look at my shoes." I proudly walked out of my friend's back and showed him the same logo on my sneakers. I knew he was secretly a Tar Heel.
"Well, have fun here!" He said.
The second encounter with Duke is in Kenan Stadium in Chapel Hill on November 11th, 2023. I paid 80 dollars to go to that football game between UNC and Duke. It was a whole lot of drama. We were about to lose, really, when there were only 41 seconds left, and the Blue Devils made another touchdown, making them 3 points ahead of us. The crowd went in a dead silence. There was no way our defense let them surpass us. The far corner where the Duke fans sat entered a hysteria. They thought they'd already won.
Tar Heels scored a field goal in the last three seconds, making it a tie.
We entered the first overtime of the game. Both teams only scored a field goal — another tie.
Tar Heels made two touchdowns during the second overtime; the Blue Devils, pathetically, made only one. We won! The crowd wildly stormed the field. I joined the storm. From little kids to the elderly, everyone was singing and dancing to our school song "Hark the Sound," and shouted "GO TO HELL DUKE" at the end, as if it were a part of the original lyrics. I've never seen such a strong school spirit.
3. Things will be different.
"The legal drinking age in the United States is 21 years old, and the legal drinking age in Canada is 19 years old. I just turned 19. So, can I get a can of beer to drink if I'm on an airplane from the United States to Canada?" I asked the distinguished law professor this question during her office hours. I remember being very drunk when I was about 7 years old when I was on a trip to a beer factory in China.
Before coming to the United States, I had heard many different stories about this country. Some of them are true and some of them are not. I heard that American drivers are more polite. It's not true. I also heard that America is a dangerous place. This one is true.
I had to be above 18 years old to get a driver's license in China. I got my driver's license in May. And I drove a lot, almost every single day for two months before going abroad. I needed to pass 4 exams before getting a driver's license in China, whereas here only required 2. The same terrible drivers were here who didn't turn on turn signals when they made turns. They drove directly past me when I needed to cross the road, and used the high beams when I was in the car in front of them. And my Chinese driver's license was not accepted here. I had to do the driving test again.
I got my driver's license in two days during the Fall break — one day for a permit and the other day for a driver's license. "I know you are nervous, but I can tell you know how to drive," the woman who supervised my road test said. Of course, I could pass this. I have done reverse parking and parallel parking before. And now I can understand why there are many bad drivers on the street.
The Second Amendment to the United States Constitution states that the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed. I used to roll my eyes when some of my relatives told me that America was not safe, and I had never thought I would experience shooting in this peaceful town called Chapel Hill. But it happened.
That day I was in a drama class, at 1 p.m. I was ready to leave the class and rush to Lenoir to get lunch. The PowerPoint in class suddenly turned to the UNC Police Alert in big, red, capitalized font, the electric voice automatically reads, "Police report an armed and dangerous person on or near campus." "Oh, this is not good," the drama professor said.
The class went into chaos when someone shouted, "They are heading to Hamilton." I tried to find somewhere to hide, somewhere safe. People cried, people called their family members, people listened to the police radio, and people rushed to whatever place they felt safe in the classroom. I went to the mechanic room with my friends among a group of people, hiding, panicking, hoping the shooter wouldn't find us, worrying if we would die there. I didn't call my family members, because it was 1 a.m. in Shanghai; I didn't want to wake them up and worry about me when they couldn't do anything. We waited in that humid, hot room for an eternity, until the professor knocked on our door telling us the police had arrived to evacuate us.
Now I wouldn't argue against the claim that America is dangerous.
2. There will be a culture shock.
"First and last name? Speak louder, I can't hear you," the staff at the entrance gate of the airport asked me this question. "It's Zhaojun Qiu," I said. I was debating whether I should read my name like an American, like "Zaoquinn Q," in case he wouldn't understand the Chinese pronunciation of my Chinese name. I've given up my hope of expecting them to read my name correctly.
Established in 1986, the 82/18 rule requires that no more than 18% of entering first-year students at UNC System Schools be out-of-state, guaranteeing space for 82% in-state enrollment. Since then, the policy has not been altered (Tate, 2021). Whenever I say I'm from Shanghai, people usually would lean back 45 degrees, look at me up and down, and wow.
Looking at Patricia, an American who was born in Fujian province in China, and who looked the same as anyone I would meet in China, I was wondering how her English was so good and her Chinese was so bad that she couldn't even read my name. I began the interview in the study lounge of my dorm.
"So, why you're an American," I asked.
"I don't know. I was just born here."
"How did your mom get the citizenship here?"
She paused and smiled; her eyes looked up to the room. "I don't know if that's legal, but my mom actually went on a boat to the United States, and because she had me, she got her citizenship."
"Are you an in-state student then?"
"Yes."
"So, you pay in-state tuition?"
"Yes, and I have financial aid."
"That's not fair. You never do the reading for our gender class."
"I'm poor and I'm from a farm, so I have financial aid."
"Okay. How's your Chinese then?"
"I can speak but I can't read much, so when you are texting me in Chinese, I need to use translation. I will have Chinese 202 next semester."
"You gotta practice Chinese with me."
"Harrison. You are like my grandparents," she said.
Later I knew her Chinese name was Xinchen, a very popular name in China that means a delightful morning.
1. You'll miss your home, very much.
I was lying in my bed at home, and I cried and cried and cried the night before flying to the United States. I didn't know why I was crying. I had lived in this city for way too long, and I was sick of it. I was sick of the crowded subway I needed to squeeze myself in during rush hours. I was sick of the wet cold winter that never snowed. I was sick of the traffic jams where I needed to switch my foot between brake and accelerator every 5 seconds. I was sick of living in the compound which hasn't changed much since I was born. I thought it was absolutely the right time to go somewhere I'd never been.
And I came to Chapel Hill, a place with no subway, no tall buildings, and no people I knew around, except a mean girl from my high school I never wanted to talk to. This is the life I wanted. The first few weeks in college were a breeze. I met so many new people who were so friendly. They would chat with me for hours, introduce me to their group of friends, and take me somewhere to eat on Franklin Street in the middle of the night. Chapel Hill had a weather that was so similar to Shanghai. I didn't feel I had already left Shanghai. I felt like I was somewhere in Shanghai having a vacation.
But things got hectic as the semester moved along. 17 credits did feel heavy. One Friday evening when I was eating at Chase, a friend called me.
"Harrison. Do you wanna hang out and have dinner with us? We'll pull up at Chase."
"Uhhh, maybe next time."
"Alright."
He still sent Snapchat to me. But he never called again.
Everyone seemed to have already found their own group in the middle of the semester, and it would be weird if I directly asked them something like, "Do you wanna be friends?" So, I ended up Facetiming my parents and friends from high school whenever I wanted to find someone to talk to.
"Friendships are temporary," my mom said, "it's time for you to make some new friends."
"I don't care!" When I was working on two papers and preparing for three exams, all I thought about was driving my Volkswagen Tiguan, trying different fancy restaurants, hanging out in different shopping malls, and going to the movies in Shanghai with all my old friends.
I went to Toronto for Thanksgiving. It was only an hour and thirty minutes' flight from Raleigh. A lot of my friends from high school went there for college, and three friends invited me to stay in the apartment they rented. It's unbelievable three of them went to the same middle school and high school, and now they are all studying at the University of Toronto. Friendship never seemed to end for them. I was always a guest.
Toronto was a lot like Shanghai. I was used to telling everyone that Shanghai was a place where every street was Franklin Street. That was also true for Toronto, especially when I was living in the penthouse they rented on the 37th floor downtown. They told me to bring a sleep mask when I came here because this mass of tall buildings' lights could be so bright at night. They had a balcony that allowed me to appreciate this night view: all buildings with different shapes clustered together, being united by their harmonious yellow lights. I felt I was alive there, and I ended up taking so many pictures in my Carolina hoodie.
They lived in a street full of Asian restaurants and supermarkets. These places often have signs in their own language. And I could speak Chinese in almost every place I went to. When I was wandering in the street, I saw the H mart. "I have to go there; it appears in a reading in my English class," I told my friends. And we went there. It was less than 10 minutes’ walk from their apartment. But it was not like the supermarket in the story I read. It was small, old, and similar to any other Korean market on that street.
My friends cooked me Korean barbeque beef for dinner, and I bought a whole bottle of Sparkling Rose alcohol the night before leaving Toronto. We sat together around a table, like we would always do in high school in Shanghai. I got the Asian flush after drinking a few cups of alcohol, and we gathered in front of a mirror to record that moment. We watched TV, we laughed, and we had a lot of fun that night. We knew we wouldn't meet for another long time.
When I was on the way from the Raleigh-Durham airport back to Chapel Hill, I realized how country this place was compared to Toronto and Shanghai. There was not a single tall building, and the nights were so quiet and dark here. All I wanted was to take me back to Toronto.
I used to think that I would cry because I didn't want to leave the people. That day I realized I would cry because I didn't want to leave the people and the city.
"You're on your own kid. You always have been."
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